It didn’t start off well…it just didn’t go as planned. I don’t want to get divorced. Seriously, I don’t. I want my husband to find the strength to fight this awful thing he is going through and come back to the family he belongs with. Yes, I do still believe in him BUT he doesn’t. So, I can’t be the one who starts the process. I need him to. I need him to be the one who gave up on us. I need him to be the one that quit. It’s stupid but it’s what I need…
And on the 1st, we were supposed to sit down together and fill out the paperwork before he moved. Ask me if that happened?
So now, he is in AL, I’m in VA and I’m so lost…and down…and just overall feeling pretty damn broken. And one of my daughters is struggling more than I realize because Peter was her best buddy and she doesn’t have him anymore. And, well, life surely isn’t where I was hoping and praying 2020 would be. In my head, I’d be able to talk him into traveling for my birthday, the big 4-0! And, I’d be having a baby this year and we’d take a trip to Disney and well….that’s not going to happen now.
I just don’t know anything anymore.
And I don’t know the next best step.
