Pretend It Never Happened
Below is a portion of his side of the hour and a half long talk we had… I can’t be here when you’re here because I did f*ck up. I freaked out and I’m sorry for that. I was in a really bad situation when you met me so I moved way faster than I […]
Eff You
Music is my outlet. When life is bad, I turn to music and let it soak up my pain. I usually hope that it makes me feel better and with the kids gone and me, home alone, it’s been helping a little. Not enough but a little. The Eff You Playlist: 1 – Lily Allen […]
Merry Forgiveness
When I work up this morning and started playing my music, I actually took the time to truly listen to what this song said…these lyrics in particular: Love my enemies, forgive the past and set ’em free so I can free free up the things every blessing God has for me see it’s for me, […]
His World Falling Apart
I don’t think he knew it was coming. And I almost felt a little bad, only almost. After all that he had put me through over the past month, in a way, his world falling apart was necessary. He needed to have some sort of situation happen where he might see the hurt and pain […]
Open Arms, Open Heart
Day 105 For the past two weeks, I have watched this love that deeply invaded my heart and soul and mind spiral into something I couldn’t imagine. I watched the man I love with all my heart turn into someone and something I couldn’t recognize. I watched life show it’s presence and just as quickly […]
Trying to Fix This
So, he didn’t home home last night. Sent a message this morning letting me know he was okay and sorry. I’d told him that if he didn’t want to be with me, all he had to do was say so. I begged him to tell me he was seeing someone else so this would make […]
I’m a Mess Z
Well, today is the Christmas Party that it seems I won’t be attending. He said something about it last week but he didn’t confirm it before he left…he hasn’t talked about it all day. I guess I’m not going… 12/10 @ 12:18pm Z – Just thinking about all this stuff… P – Yeah me too […]
Let’s Get Help
So, we are still trying to figure out what is going on, it’s been an incredibly rough month so far. He promises we are trying to work our way through all of this. It is such a mess. A big, huge, awful mess BUT he said he talked to someone at work today that told […]
Sisterly Chat
During a moment of our conversation last night, Peter told me to call his sister and there was a lot of other things said that just didn’t make sense. The past few days, they’d been awful. I don’t know what is going on or why he is acting so incredibly strange. He’s gone all day […]
Something Is Wrong
I can feel it in my heart. I can feel it in my soul. There is so much going on in my heart, in my body, in my soul. Life is shifting and I’m not ready for this in any way. I think I’m losing everything. More than what I ever thought would be happening […]