It’s Not Possible but…
I do. I want that happiness. I want that love. I want that safety. I want that companionship. I want those promises. I want that dream. I want it all. Some days, I can completely admit that two months ago, I was pretty damn happy. Despite the lies I wasn’t aware of, my life felt […]
Thinking Back
Oh, I’ve had too much time to think and re-evaluate the twisted and tainted stories that were handed to me from the Peter Playbook. Some of them were so stupid, I can really hardly believe anyone would tell such stupid, stupid lies. Let’s take the most recent one. Just hours after telling me that he […]
Positivity
Well, I’m headed down to get my babies. The house won’t be silent anymore. I’m so excited! Yes, it will be back to tough days, and potty training and screaming and yelling at times but all that beats silence. Beats emptiness. Beats lonely! And school starts next week….18 credits this semesters. I know, it’s about […]
Why?
I know, there is no explanation, truly, for what happened. Not in this relationship, not in my marriage or the relationship I had before that. There will never be an answer to why. I’ll never really understand how and why people give love and then take it away. Why they invest so much time and […]
I Love You, I Loved You
I can’t explain how the perfect love story ends. I can’t unbreak us. I can’t hold on. I can’t see the end of the tunnel and I’m going to allow myself one last day to hurt and to cry and to feel sad and down. “I don’t live here anymore,” is what he said today. […]
Packing It Up
He packed up some stuff today. It’s all just strange anymore. He seems excited to be getting a small one bedroom house somewhere. He packed up a few crates, did some laundry and hit the road. He continues to say he is sorry. But I don’t know anymore what exactly he is sorry for. So […]
This!
http://https://youtu.be/7YvAYIJSSZY
Apologies
Well, I guess he isn’t leaving this weekend. I mean, why can’t he just have a simple and honest conversation about anything. Why all these lies. It makes no sense at all. He got home, took his shower, and was headed out the door when I asked about him moving this weekend and he was […]
The Loneliness
It’s pretty lonely around here for the most part. I dance around and jump around and act crazy but most of my days are simply lonely. No kids, no Peter, not much of anything. And yesterday, for some reason, I had a minor break down. I got up and started the crockpot…a nice big pot […]
You’re Home?
I always ask him if he is coming home, but I know he won’t. The last night he slept in this house was weeks ago, December 11th actually. But I always asked. Just to see what he would say, probably. I mean, what did it matter at this point? I’m well aware he has a […]